


teenage fears don’t die

by distortionist



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Emetophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Gore, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychosis, i promise theres more comfort than hurt i just want to make sure i properly warn for all that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distortionist/pseuds/distortionist
Summary: “Why do you always have to make so much sense?” Cloud muttered, finally looking back up at Zack.“Because I’m smarter than your PTSD is,” Zack replied, grinning.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	teenage fears don’t die

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BDAY AERITH!! this fic has nothing to do with aerith but it’s their birthday today so i need to say that 
> 
> anyways!!! plz heed the tags!!!! there’s lots of potentially triggering stuff in the first half of this fic so be careful

It was raining.

Cloud had a headache, and he was surrounded by an absolute downpour of rain. The world around him was fuzzy, his vision filled with dots of snow. He felt nauseous, suddenly becoming violently aware of the smell of copper surrounding him. 

He frantically sat up from where he’d been lying on the muddy ground, and immediately retched upon realizing where he was. The wastes outside of Midgar. 

Bullet shells littered the ground. Cloud had been lying in a mixture of mud, gunpowder, rainwater, vomit, and blood. He cringed at the sight, glancing away only to see a sight that he deemed considerably worse. 

Zack’s body, filled with bullets. Cloud retched once again, punching the ground in a mix of rage and pure horror.

He’d seen this exact sight a million times. Hallucinated it, dreamt it, had flashbacks of it— He’d seen it so many times that by now, it should have been easy; Easy to look upon Zack’s pale face, the blood spilling everywhere, the countless bullet holes. It shouldn’t have taken Cloud by surprise every single time, but it did, and every time felt so much worse than the last.

Cloud knew by now that screaming and crying and punching and kicking did nothing. 

He knew he’d have to wait it out, sit here until the nightmare, or hallucination, or flashback, or _whatever_ was over. That knowledge didn’t help, though. Cloud still wanted to punch the ground, scream at the sky, drown himself in the rain— Anything but stare numbbly at Zack’s lifeless body until he finally came back to.

His mind still a blur, Cloud leaned down, resting his head against Zack’s chest. He could feel his face getting soaked with blood and rainwater, and he didn’t care. There was no heartbeat to be heard, and Cloud repressed an agonized scream as he simply sat there, soaking up what was left of Zack’s warmth.

In his desperation, Cloud pulled away, only to lay back down beside Zack, hiding his face in Zack’s neck. He grabbed Zack’s arm, pulling it over his waist, holding it there. It was freezing cold in the rain, and Zack’s lifeless body certainly wasn’t giving any warmth, but Cloud had nothing better to do until this hell was over.

“Cloud.”

Cloud froze in place, his grip on Zack’s wrist tightening. He didn’t move, too terrified that he was hearing things, giving himself a false sense of hope. 

“Cloud.”

Cloud gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut.

“ _Cloud._ ”

Cloud woke up with a violent start, nearly falling off the bed as he shot upwards, glancing around the room fearfully. When he felt a hand grab his wrist, he immediately pulled it away, whipping around to face whoever had grabbed it.

“Cloud, hey—“

“Zack.” Cloud let out a breath he’d subconsciously been holding in, sighing with relief. “You’re okay.”

Zack smiled a bit, nodding.

“I’m a hundred percent okay, alright? No need to worry.” Zack held his hands out, and Cloud immediately took them into his own, holding tightly onto them. Cloud’s panicked expression only relaxed slightly. 

“But Shinra, and— The— The lab, Zack, we—“ 

“Woah, woah,” Zack interrupted, squeezing Cloud’s hands. “Slow down. Take a deep breath, ‘kay?”

Cloud did as told, and Zack nodded.

“Good. Good! You’re doing good,” Zack reassured. “Okay, what year is it, Cloud?”

Cloud stared at Zack in confusion for a long moment.

“What do you mean? It’s—“ Cloud blinked, shaking his head. “I don’t know! That doesn’t _matter_ , we’re— Zack, the lab, there’s— Hojo! And the— It’s too late, Zack, we aren’t going to make it—“

“Cloud. My dear. My love. My sunshine.” Zack squeezed Cloud’s hands again. “It’s 0011. Hojo is dead, the lab is long gone, and Shinra’s not out to get us anymore.”

“Oh.” Cloud blinked, staring at Zack in confusion until it finally set in that he’d been having a nightmare. “Right.”

Zack gently bonked his forehead against Cloud’s. 

“There you go.” Zack brought Cloud’s hand up to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on his knuckles. “You okay?”

“Not really, but I’ll be fine,” Cloud replied, sighing. “Sorry I keep waking you up in the middle of the night screaming about you being dead.”

“Cloud, it’s—“

“No, I mean— Genuinely.” Cloud cast his gaze down to the bedsheets, avoiding eye contact with Zack. “That’s gotta be draining for you. I just mean— Thanks. For putting up with me.”

“Oh, honey.” Zack frowned, letting go of Cloud’s hands in favor of pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s fine. It’s not like it’s your fault.” 

“I guess,” Cloud mumbled, burying his face in Zack’s shoulder. “I just feel shitty about it.”

“Look—“ Zack pulled away from the hug, resting his hands on Cloud’s shoulders. “You’re not, like, holding me captive here and forcing me to ‘put up with’ your problems. I choose to stay here, because I want to be here, and I want to help you however I can. ‘Kay?”

Cloud didn’t respond, still staring at the bedsheets as he fidgeted nervously with his hands. 

“You didn’t ask for this, Cloud. You didn’t want to be a child soldier, or a lab rat, or whatever other shit they forced you to be. You didn’t— You didn’t _deserve_ this.” Zack sighed. “You had your teenage years stripped from you by a group of shitty corporate fascists, and that’s not— That’s not your fault. You don’t need to apologize. Please don’t apologize.”

“I’m sorry,” Cloud mumbled, cringing as soon as the words left his mouth. “I just— I don’t know what else to do to make it up to you. I wake you up in the middle of the night having total meltdowns over nightmares, and when I’m not doing that, I’m having complete psychotic breakdowns and screaming nonsense at you.”

“Hey.” Zack shook his head. “No. You’re more than just that.”

“Maybe.”

“ _Definitely,_ ” Zack retorted, flicking Cloud on the forehead. “You act like we didn’t experience all that child soldier and lab rat stuff together. I know how it feels. And whenever I break down over it, you’re always there for me. It’s the least I can do to be here for you too, right?”

“Why do you always have to make so much sense?” Cloud muttered, finally looking back up at Zack. Zack laughed.

“Because I’m smarter than your PTSD is.” Zack glanced over at the clock to check the time. “It’s, like, three in the morning. You wanna go back to sleep? Or do something to get your mind off it?”

Cloud thought it over for a moment, but was interrupted by a yawn. He sighed.

“Sleep, I guess. I’m tired.” 

“Excellent choice. I like sleep,” Zack replied, lying back down. He held his arms out for Cloud to snuggle into, and Cloud happily took the invitation. “You sure you’re alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” Cloud mumbled into Zack’s chest. “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” 

“Waking you up. You have work in, like, two hours.” 

Zack rolled his eyes despite Cloud not being able to see it.

“It’s Saturday, sunshine,” he reminded. “It’s my day off.”

“Oh.” Cloud let out a relieved sigh. “I thought it was Sunday. Wasn’t yesterday Saturday?”

Zack paused, glancing down at Cloud in the dark. He blinked in confusion.

“Sunday?” he questioned. “Cloud, it’s barely even Saturday right now. You’re, like, an entire week off.”

Cloud mumbled something unintelligible in reply, and Zack sighed. He pressed a kiss to the top of Cloud’s head, laughing quietly.

“What am I gonna do with you?”

“If I’m lucky, you’ll let me go back to sleep,” Cloud said. Zack pouted.

“Rude.” 

“Goodnight, Zack.”


End file.
